How To Bake Apple Crumb Pie
Apple Crumb Pie - The correct account of the discovery of apple crumb pie is highly debated, especially among religious officials, Scientologists, quantum botanists, and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The most widely accepted story derives from the Book of Genesis, in the pages torn out by Christian Devil's Food Cake enthusiasts and later found by Marlon Brando when he was eating an apple turnover.
As the story follows, Adam was still pissed at God for throwing him out of the Garden of Eden because Eve had to be a bitch about God's only rule. He was also quite mad at apples. For a week following his eviction, Adam fumed over what he could possibly do to teach Him (and apples) a lesson. After smoking up the last of the marijuana he had grown in the Garden, he went on a feeding frenzy in the forest. While there, he roundhouse-kicked a tree that he thought was God sneaking up on him. When several objects dropped and smacked him on the head, he was knocked unconscious. When he woke up, he found that several apples surrounded him. Later that evening, using some Splenda he stole from God, and made the first known incarnation of what is now apple crumb pie. While he rested following this discovery, Eve stole the recipe, baked it without the sugar, and invented apple pie. Eve then ran off with the idea, and using prostitution to promote her new product, made apple pie the untouchable god of dessert fruit pastries that it is today. Using the gold she gained in selling the product to the time-traveling baker Sara Lee, she reconciled with Adam and they ended up having a children as sad and amoral as themselves.
Apple Crumb Pie
Ingredients
Time Duration
Prep Time 30min.
Total Time 1hr. 20min.
Servings 8 servings
Prep Time 30min.
Total Time 1hr. 20min.
Servings 8 servings
Direction
- Heat oven to 400°F.
- Toss apples with granulated sugar, tapioca and spices in large bowl. Let stand 15 min. Mix flour and brown sugar in medium bowl. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs; set aside.
- Line 9-inch pie plate with crust as directed on package for one-crust pie. Fill with fruit mixture; top with crumb mixture.
- Bake 45 to 50 min. or until juices form bubbles that burst slowly. Cool.
Additional Information About Apple Crumb Pie
Apple Crumb Prohibition
Apple crumb pie held a place in Americans' hearts until 1935, when President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in an effort to further distract people from the Great Depression that seemed to be bumming everybody out, declared that blueberry rhubarb far surpassed the taste of apple crumb pie, and forbade any Americans from eating, buying, selling, smelling, tasting, touching or having premarital relations with apple crumb pie. As a result of this, so began the Ginormous Apple Crumb Pie Prohibition. And thus sprang up many underground apple crumb bakeries. Deliveries were done in the dead of night in unmarked cars.
The Prohibition was temporarily lifted in 1957, but was quickly reinstated when Sen. Joseph McCarthy blacklisted apple crumb pie, claiming it "promoted sharing of greater goods", which he believed to be the heart of Communism.
The Prohibition was lifted for the second and final time in 1995, when Bill Clinton declared it to be the "finest pie he had ever licked off his fingers, and I've had some sticky fingers." In 2004, Congress passed a bill into law, stating that anybody who didn't like apple crumb pie was a terrorist and a threat to American national security.
Apple crumb pie held a place in Americans' hearts until 1935, when President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in an effort to further distract people from the Great Depression that seemed to be bumming everybody out, declared that blueberry rhubarb far surpassed the taste of apple crumb pie, and forbade any Americans from eating, buying, selling, smelling, tasting, touching or having premarital relations with apple crumb pie. As a result of this, so began the Ginormous Apple Crumb Pie Prohibition. And thus sprang up many underground apple crumb bakeries. Deliveries were done in the dead of night in unmarked cars.
The Prohibition was temporarily lifted in 1957, but was quickly reinstated when Sen. Joseph McCarthy blacklisted apple crumb pie, claiming it "promoted sharing of greater goods", which he believed to be the heart of Communism.
The Prohibition was lifted for the second and final time in 1995, when Bill Clinton declared it to be the "finest pie he had ever licked off his fingers, and I've had some sticky fingers." In 2004, Congress passed a bill into law, stating that anybody who didn't like apple crumb pie was a terrorist and a threat to American national security.
Source Recipe: Apple Crumb Pie